The Wrath of Lanie Parish
by 3detectives1writer
Summary: A/U: A now multiple chapter story about what I think would've happened if Lanie had enough of Castle's behavior. Set post-Limey. Give it a try.
1. Chapter 1

The long buzz of his door bell brought him out of his office. He opened the door.

"Lanie?"

"Come on, Writer Boy, we gotta talk," she said, dragging him into the office. "What would Dr. Parish want to talk about with my dad?" Alexis asked. "I don't know, darling. Let's try to get close enough so we can hear," Martha said.

Once the office door closed, Lanie slapped Castle in the face. Castle almost doubled over, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

Outside, Alexis and Martha's jaws dropped to the floor.

"That's for being an asshole."

"Great, you called me an asshole. Anything else?"

"You tell me."

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me. You and Kate?"

"What about me and Beckett?"

"Imma smack you…again. You work side-by-side every day. You write sex scenes in your books about her that had me reaching for ice water. Now all of the sudden, you change after that case with the bomb. So tell me, what the fuck is going on?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Say that again, and I will hurt a very sensitive part of your anatomy." Castle grimaced at the thought and covered said part. "That's what I thought. Now talk."

"She lied to me."

Lanie registered a lot in his voice when he said that. She saw pain, confusion, hurt, and anger. "Oh, well, what did Kate have to say about it?"

Now he looked confused. "What?"

Lanie's eyes widened. "You're telling me that you haven't asked Katherine Beckett why she lied?"

"Well, no-"

"Bingo. First mistake. Your second mistake was when you showed up at my crime scene with that blonde bimbo flight attendant-"

"-Jacinda"

"Like I give a damn what her name is! The point is, you showed up with her, let her drive your Ferrari, right _**after **_I had a talk with my girl about telling you _**exactly**_ how she feels!"

"She doesn't love me."

"You say that one more time, and see what happens. She's _**CRAZY**_ about you, and I know you're crazy about her. Everyone at the damn precinct sees it, everyone at the morgue, hell, even Pearlmutter sees it, and he prefers to hang around with the dead than the living! I bet that even Iron Gates sees it, and she _**hates**_ you! It's just you and Beckett who are so damn blind that you don't see what's right in front of you! My girl is so lost and confused; she thinks you don't love her!"

"Finally, Katherine-I don't know her middle name-Beckett gets something right. A million dollars for the lady. I don't love her."

"YOU SAY THAT AGAIN, AND I WILL SHOOT YOU WHERE YOU STAND! YOU _**LOVE **_KATHERINE BECKETT AND SHE LOVES YOU, RICHARD EDGAR CASTLE!"

BOOM! That hit him square in the face, and Lanie knew it. "That's right, Writer Boy. Now, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna break up with what's-her-face, and you're gonna go hook up with my girl. If you don't…well, let's just say the boys know how to make cases disappear, and I know how to make bodies disappear," she said. Lanie then exited the loft leaving Castle slack-jawed and shocked.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: As requested, here is Alexis and Martha talking to Castle after the aftermath of Lanie's little lecture. Hope you guys like it! Please review! :)**

Castle slumped down into his desk chair. He sighed and rubbed at the cheek where Lanie had slapped him. Yup, that's gonna leave a bruise.

He thought about what Lanie said. He knew that he really did love her. He only pretended that he didn't to anyone else. He hated to admit it, but his mother was right. Love isn't a switch; you just can't turn it off. Now that he really thought about it for the first time (A death threat really helped), he felt kind of guilty. He really didn't give her a chance to explain why she lied to him.

He honestly shouldn't be mad at her for keeping a big secret. He still hadn't told her about Mr. Smith and the murder board on his smart board. He got up and turned on his smart board.

He heard someone knock on his office door. He quickly turned the smart board off and turned around. His mother and daughter were standing there.

"Hey," he said, forcing a smile. "Dad, what was that all about?" Alexis asked. "Oh dear, here you go, Richard, you might need this," his mother said, tossing him an ice pack. "Thanks," he replied, pressing it against his cheek.

"So?" the ladies questioned. "So what?" he asked. "Are you going to take her advice?" Martha asked. "Yeah, dad, are you going to talk to Detective Beckett?" Alexis asked. He said nothing and suddenly toke great interest on the floor.

Martha and Alexis exchanged glances. "Alright, Richard, sit down," Martha said. She waited for him to sit down on his desk chair. "Now, I think you should follow Lanie's advice. I know you decided that you were through with Kate, but at least give her a chance to explain. Let the poor girl know why you're acting the way you are. Trust me; it's the least you owe her for allowing you to invade her life," Martha said. "Yeah dad. I know Detective Beckett shouldn't have lied to you about whatever it is you're freaking out about, but let her explain. Who knows? Maybe Dr. Parish was right about everything she said," Alexis added. "Plus, you need to tell her that you've been investigating her mother's murder. She needs to know that even if you're never going to see her again," Martha said.

Castle stared up at them. He groaned and rubbed his face. "You're not gonna leave me alone until I go talk to her, are you?" he asked. They both shook their heads. "Alright, I'll go talk to her. Just give me a minute," he said. "Alright, but if you think you can hide in your bedroom, I just want you to know that we'll drag you out if we have to," Alexis said. "Of course you will, Alexis," he replied, smirking. They left, closing the door behind them.

He turned on the smart board again. _Great, first I have Lanie and the boys out to kill me if I don't hook up with Kate-Beckett-now I have my mother and daughter ganging up on me. What an awesome night. Damn, that slap hurt! I've been slapped before, but never like this. Note to self: never piss off Lanie again. What the hell! Focus! _He thought.

He looked back at the board and downed the shot of scotch he'd somehow managed to pour during the events of that evening. "Oh, what the hell! Let's get this over with," he said, grabbing his coat and heading for the door.

**A/N: I know this chapter is short, but I wanted the talk between Castle and Beckett to have its own chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know; I suck for not updating for a long time. I was stumped with this story. I'd like to thank TonyCastle78 for the idea. Enjoy and please review. (P.S. In case you're wondering, I'm doing the talk between Castle and Beckett next chapter.)**

One down, one to go, Lanie thought as she caught a cab outside Castle's building. She gave the driver Beckett's address, and soon she was on her way.

This whole plan to get them together was working perfectly so far. She's pretty sure she scared Castle enough to go talk to Beckett. Now she has to yell at Beckett, plant the camera, head to the precinct, and watch the magic unfold.

The cab pulled up to Beckett's building about half an hour later. She paid the driver and told him to keep the change. The doorman knew her, and she exchanged greeting with him before she headed up to her floor.

Lanie knocked on Beckett's door. Well, knock was one way to put it. She was basically banging on the door. "Katherine Beckett, you better get your ass up and answer the fucking door!" Lanie yelled.

"Okay, okay, you don't have to yell, and you can stop trying to break down my door," Kate replied on the other side. Lanie stopped and waited. She heard the door click, and Kate opened it.

"C'mon girl, we need to talk," Lanie said, stepping in without invitation and yanking Kate towards the couch. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, can I at least close my door before you wake up the whole floor?" Kate asked, straining against Lanie's grasp. "Fine," Lanie said, letting Kate's wrist go.

Once Kate locked the door, she turned and saw Lanie waiting impatiently. "Want some wine?" she offered. "Don't try to delay this convo, Kate," Lanie said. "Well, I do, so wait a minute," Kate replied, going into the kitchen to refill her glass.

Finally Kate sat down on the couch a safe distance from Lanie. "What has you almost breaking down my door at 10pm.?" Kate asked nervously. "You know damn well why I'm here," Lanie said. "I really don't," Kate replied.

"You and Writer Boy?" Lanie prompted. "What about Castle and me?" Kate asked. "Girl, Imma smack you. What did I tell you about telling him how you feel?" Lanie asked.

"I try to talk to him, but he pushes me away. I don't know why," Kate replied. "You don't think it has to do with-oh, I don't know- three little words he said at your shooting?" Lanie asked, even though she already knew. "How could he know? I haven't said anything about that," Kate said.

"Girl, I saw the footage of the interrogation with Bobby. You said-and I quote- "I was shot in the chest, and I remember _every _second of it." Guess who was on the other side of the mirror when you said that?" Lanie said.

She watched as Kate put the pieces together. "Shit," Kate swore out loud.

"That's right, he knows. Now, I'm sick and tired of this little dance of yours. I want this to end. Unless you want to be severely injured, you're gonna talk to Writer Boy. That's all I have to say. If you two don't come back as a couple or at least back to normal, I will hurt you," Lanie said, getting up. She left but not before planting the hidden camera.

Kate stared at the door for a few minutes after Lanie left. Well that was a way to ruin a Saturday. It's not like there was much to ruin anyway. All Kate was planning on doing was scroll through the cable channels for something good.

She thought about what Lanie said. Kate was pretty sure Lanie was serious about the threats. (She'd seen what happened to Esposito when he refused to watch the latest Twilight movie with her.)

Kate questioned whether or not to call Castle. It was getting late, and he might be asleep. Maybe she'll send him a text saying to call her when he wakes up.

Just as she reached for her phone, the doorbell rang. She really hoped it wasn't Lanie again or the guys either.

But the person on the other side of the door was not Lanie, Ryan, or Esposito. In fact, it was the man in question, Richard Castle, soaking wet from the rain that mysteriously started a few minutes ago. "Hey," was all he said.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate gestured for him to come on in. He stepped inside, and Kate closed the door behind him. She turned around after locking the door to find him staring at her.

"We need to talk," he said. His voice gave off nothing but seriousness. His face was emotionless. His eyes didn't have any hint of mischief in them like they normally do.

"I know. Would you like something to drink?" she asked. "No, thanks, I'm good," he replied. Kate went to get her glass of wine and took a sip before looking back at him. She asked the silent question if he wanted to start or not.

"Do you love me?" Wow, he cuts right to the chase. Kate was taken aback by the question and only answered, "What?"

"Throughout these years, all those moments we shared, was I reading you wrong? You keep sending mixed signals. One minute, you're giving me hope that you feel the same way, the next; you're shrugging it off like it didn't matter. This past year, I believed that you would remember me telling you that I loved you, or I'd wait to tell you again when I thought you were ready. Then I find out in an interrogation room that you remembered everything? You tell a perp and not me. Great, now I know I rank lower than a criminal," he said.

"Like I was the only one keeping a secret!" she exclaimed. "What?" he asked. "I know you've struck a deal with a friend of Montgomery's to keep me safe. I know you're investigating the case behind my back," she replied.

His eyes widened. He looked like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. "How'd you- My mother told you, didn't she?" She didn't say anything, and that was plenty of an answer for him.

"Kate, I was just trying to keep you safe. I'm sorry," he replied, his voice calmer. "I know that, Rick! You're acting like I'm the one who screwed up the most here! You kept this information from me despite your promise that we would solve it together," she replied.

"I know. He said that he would keep you safe if you left the case alone. I didn't want to lose you again, so I agreed to keep you away from it. Why'd you lie to me?" he asked.

"I couldn't figure out what was real and what was just my imagination. I heard you say it, but I needed time-" "I would've waited for as long as you needed, Kate." "I know, but I wanted to sort things out myself first. I needed to figure out how I really felt about you. That's why I lied. I didn't want to give you false hope. I saw a therapist to sort out my feelings. I wanted to be better for you. I never meant for you to find out that way," she said.

He swore he saw tears trailing down her cheeks. He immediately went to hug her. She silently sobbed into his shirt.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. I was a fucking idiot to think you didn't tell me because you didn't feel the same way," he said. That earned him a teary Beckett Death Glare. He laughed, "Yes, I'm a fucking asshole to believe that, but I'm a writer. It's my nature to think worst case scenario."

A smile appeared on her face. She snuggled into his chest, and he held her there, inhaling her cherry scent. Silence welcomed them for a minute.

"Rick, you do know I love you, right?" she whispered. He held her at arms-length, his eyes wide. "You love me?" he asked.

Kate laughed for the first time in weeks. "Yes, I love you, Richard Edgar Castle, my 9-year-old-on-a-sugar-rush partner and best friend," she said.

And then he kissed her. She was startled at first, but then she melted into the kiss. What started sweet and simple turned into passion. They poured four years of love into that kiss.

Back at the precinct, Ryan, Esposito, Alexis, Martha, and Jim Beckett were all staring at the conference room. "Why are we all here again?" Jim asked. "Don't know. Lanie told us to come in. she barricaded herself in the conference room and has been staring at the laptop for a while now," Ryan said.

"YES!" Their heads turned. Lanie shot up from her seat. She then started doing a dance that could only be her "happy" dance.

"What the fuck is going on?" Espo asked. "Don't look at me, bro," Ryan replied.

Lanie came into the bull pen. "MOM AND DAD ARE TOGETHER! I WON THE BET! WHOOHOO!" she yelled. "What?" they all asked in disbelief. The entire bull pen got quiet.

"Lanie, were you spying on Detective Beckett and my dad?" Alexis asked. Lanie's face turned flustered. "Uh…No, not exactly. I may or may not have "talked" with them. I also may or may not have made Castle go to her apartment to talk to her," she replied.

Back at Beckett's apartment, they broke the kiss, both gasping for air. "I love you, too, Katherine-I-don't-know-your-middle-name-Beckett," he said with a smile. This smile actually reached his eyes, and his eyes showed nothing but his love for her. "I know. Oh and by the way, my middle name is Houghton," she said. "Hmm…Houghton, like Katherine Hepburn?" She nodded. "I never would've guessed. It suits you," he said.

She hummed in reply and intertwined her small hand in his large one. He looked down at their joined hands, smiled, and then looked up at her again. He saw her bite her lip as she turned and led him away.

From that moment on, everything was perfect. Castle and Beckett spent the night together making up for the time they've lost. Lanie collected her money and even got praises from the captain on how brilliant her plan was which had everybody shocked. Lanie smiled as she slipped the money into her pocket. Mom and Dad were finally together all because Lanie Parish decided she'd had enough of this will-they-or-won't-they dance.

~End~

**A/N: Well, there you go. I'm not particularly proud of this chapter, but there's you ending. I can always change it if you want, but that's it. Thanks to all the people who followed and added this story to their favorites. Without you guys, I would've given up this story a long time ago. **


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